Emily 2005

Jan. - Just got out of a relationship with Chris, went to North's winter forma with Jonnie.

Feb. - Started dating Morgan for the third time.

March - Started Driver's Ed. (blah!)

April - I got my car!!! I loved loved that car. (I think it was this month)

May - My sweet 16, it sucked. Broke up with Morgan for the third time.

June - Summer school. Crush on Erin, but it didn't last because he was retarded and obviously didn't like pretty girls.

July - 6th Harry Potter book, wasn't as good as I expected. Got my driver's licenses. Nicole came over for a week and we almost killed each other. And I'll never forget the 13th.

Aug. - Thoughts of moving started, Mom had her job interview in Virginia. Start of my sophmore year. My first car accident, totaled my beautiful car before I could even use the heated seats. I was given the nick name "The Temptress" and it's stuck.

Sept. - Mom got really sick and ended up in the hospital for 2 weeks. All hopes were dashed for my sisters because my mom got the job in Virginia. Started dating Dustin.

Oct. - 90 days up, I'm the only one I know who actuelly followed that rule. I'm such a loser. Broke up with Dustin.

Nov. - Patrick and Nicole broke up, and for a moment the world stopped because of it. Or so it felt like. Viki comes to visite with Erika and her fiance. The 4th Harry Potter movie came out, it sucked.

Dec. - Winter Formal. I went with Morgan and I had sooooooooo much fun. I've also been going to a lot of parties this month, which brings out a scary but exciting part of me.


And that was my year. Ups and downs, goods and bads I know I won't forget 2005.

Love Poems

So I wrote a love poem yesterday, first one ever. It's up on my poetry blog if anyone's interested. What's different about this compared to all my others, besides the contents, is that I was actuelly neverous after I wrote it. I was afraid it might be too corny and everyone would hate. Usually when I write a poem I don't care people love it or hate because it's my stuff, I wrote for me. I just choose to share it with others. This I wrote for a friend of mine and it's really important to me whether he likes it or not.

This might sound stupid, but I cried while writing it because it's about me moving and leaving him and how I really don't want to. It's all true, so I guess my emotions just got the better of me. So if that's gonna happen everytime I write a love poem I don't think I'll ever write another one.

Merry Christmas!!!!

It's Christmas eve everyone! Be excited! Actuelly I'm not really that excited. Getting older has made Christmas less exciting and more stressful. Because when your older, you worry about how much money your parents are spending and you worry about if you're getting the right gift for your guy friend who is impossible to shop for. When I was little none of these worries exsisted. All I cared about was that Santa's coming and he better have brought me the damn My Size Barbie I always wanted (I never got mine).

Now the only thing I look forward to in the year is my birthday, which is once again being over shadowed by moving. We always seem to move around my birthday. So this year, my birthday is more about mourning my leaving then celebrating the day I was brought into the world.

Anyways, now that I've depressed everyone..... Have a very merry super great fantastic fucking Christmas! Lol, I love you all.

The Temptress

I am a flirt, no doubt about that. My nick name at school is "The Temptress". But you know what, some times being a temptress really really sucks. You see I have no rules on who and who not to flirt with. So I just flirt with everyone, which tends to get me in trouble because some boys are off limits. I don't like limits though, so I ignore them. Other times I flirt with guys who are my friends, but other than friendship there is no other feeling there. This tends to lead to giving guys false hope and I end up breaking their heart.

So you can see my problem. I don't know how to stop flirting and most guys don't want me to stop, but if I don't I'm just gonna leave behind a trail of broken hearts and ruined friendships. I think sometimes flirting is my way to make sure guys like me. In elemetry school I was always so jealous of the girls who had boyfriends and were popular. Now that I'm older and I'm finelly one of those pretty girls I take every oppertunity to prove to people I'm not the ugly kid any more.

Lately I've been talking with my friend Patrick about the acts we put on. Patrick is so good at being himself all the time and I want to be like that. So I've been naming all my different acts and deciding whether or not they really are me. The Temptress is another act for me, I made her up so that more people would like me. And at events like parties she completely takes over. So for the most part I need to get rid of her, not all because I think the real Emily is somewhat of a flirt as well, but she's not me. The real question is though, who's still gonna like me when I've found myself? Who's going to like me for me?

Update

For all those interested, that may just be Patrick but oh well, I'm gonna tell you all when I add a new poem on my other blog. So yes everyone go, quickly, read my new stuff and I hope you like it.

About Me

My name is Emily. Most of the people reading this probably know that already but, for all those other people, Emily is my name. I'm 16, but depending on my mood my mental age spanes from 2 to 25. If you were to define normal, you would most likely not be discribing me. I wear ties every Thursday and I wish my boobs were bigger. My hobbies include reading and writing depressing poetry. I would currently die without my cell phone, though I rarely get called. I use my purse as a weapon. My fish's name is Ms. Poodlebilbo and my dog's name is Cucu. And that is pretty much me in a nut shell.

So, yeah this is my new blog because my old one sucked. I'll try to post as often as I can. And for anyone interested I just put a new poem on my poetry blog and incourage everyone to read it, just click on the link at right.